I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
