According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
