Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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