Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
