So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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