If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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