I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
