My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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