I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
