oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
