I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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