She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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