Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
