I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
