I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
