we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
