Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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