One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
