Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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