He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
