that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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