I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
