you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
