I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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