she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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