so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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