if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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