I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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