sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
and you fell through a lawn chair
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
