yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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