Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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