But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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