so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
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