I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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