Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She even gives head with a lisp.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
