More tranny stories later!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
