I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
