Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
