she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
