You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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