I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
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Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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