Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize