fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
