Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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