Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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