tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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