You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
