And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i wish my penis had a tongue
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
