you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
