Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
