You can't motorboat a personality
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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