Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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