Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
