Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize