Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How naked do you want me to be?
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