yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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