And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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