Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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