he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
