i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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